Saturday, August 6, 2011
Good morning my brothers and sisters in Chemo 13. For most of the past few months things have gone pretty close to script as far as chemo and recovery go. But for the first time I’m scared about all this. While the cancer may out of me, the chemo is kicking my ass and I’m concerned about my body’s ability to recover and protect me.
This is the fourth week in a row that I’ve had some type problem with blood counts, or platelets. As I write this, I am lying down with my head uncomfortably propped up on pillows and arms fully extended so much so that I can’t see the keyboard all this so the bloody nose I have will clot. And this is after two days of platelet transfusions!! It really shouldn’t be a problem, but it is.
Man this is life and death stuff. If I get a secondary cancer from the current treatment, I’m not sure what I would do. I know I need to be more positive, but I don’t want to be. I need to think of solutions, but I don’t know where to start. Maybe a smart move would be to have my marrow looked at again and make sure there are no problems there.
I don’t know. The docs seem to think everything is on track and this whole mess is solely based on chemo and side effects. I don’t know. I thinking there is something else going on here.
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