disability, fear and Murphy

Good morning everyone:

When I first started this blog I said I’d work to be as honest as I could. For the next little while I’ll be wrestling through some really important ideas and trying to figure out my next steps.

There are a couple of things running concurrently in my cancer recovery and return to work life that are causing me great anxiety. There’s really nothing that can done except for me to analyze this stuff and make some adult decisions. Getting my thoughts on paper will at least help me think effectively.

Some background. On or about (o/a) October 17^th my short-term disability through my job at the State of Delaware will end because I will have been on the program for 182 days while fighting this cancer. Had it just been the Burkitt’s Lymphoma, there wouldn’t be a problem because I would have had enough days to go through the eight 20 day blocks of the Hyper RCVAD chemo I am going through. Ahh but two problems snuck in. I did not calculate the original bowel resection surgery into my projections, nor did I account for an additional 15 lost days due to blood infections/levels and some scheduling snafus not of my making.

The result is o/a 17 October I will be on day 15 of block #7 about 25 days short of my completed chemo; with one more block to go.

In anticipation of that, I am submitting a Long-term disability application with the state’s insurer. I turns out that this is not an automatic acceptance thing, but rather an application approval thing. If approved I can get up to 60 percent of my base pay for a period I have yet to figure out. I could get nothing. The thing that really gives me pause is that on the 182d day I am terminated from state service, pending my doctor’s approval to return to work. As I understand it, I have some reemployment rights as far as this goes – but nonetheless I am terrified of Murphy! Remember Murphy’s Law? If something can go wrong it will?

So the major question is: “How much risk am I really accepting?” One would think I could stand on my head and do 25 more days of cancer treatment with or without a long-term disability program, but there are other considerations. If things continue on schedule I would complete the entire eight blocks including recover o/a 12 NOV 2011. My final infusion of chemo drugs would take place on 3 NOV 2011.

God this blows!! I hate being an adult.

So that’s kind of the overall situation – but the Devil is always in the weeds, you know? 

The weeds. I need more info. All my calculations were based on moving smoothly from one block to the next, with little if any complications causing delays – I didn’t build in any downtime. But as I discovered, sometimes you don’t get a vote. But, I also have an ace in my back pocket, I just don’t know how, or if to play it – my cancer is in remission.

Here are some things I have to know.

After the final infusion o/a 3 Nov, what happens next? When do I get the Hickman removed? How often do I have to go to the Cancer Center after that?

Typically how long after finishing Hyper R CVAD chemo do people return to work? Since I am not typical, what does that mean to me?

Do people typically return to full time status immediately?

Am I tough enough to return immediately if I had to?

Given the cumulative effects of the chemo, do the second half blocks have more delays than the first?

Since my cancer is in remission, what is the benefit to continuing chemo, losing my job, and then getting it back again? Does it make more sense to just stop? Are there future insurance considerations if this cancer were to come back? Poop1

Like I said all adult stuff!

The bottom line – I have a doctor’s appointment today and it is time to start figuring the end state. The only thing I know for sure is I need to submit some paperwork ASAP.

Thanks for listening,

Bill