Buyer's remorse

Hey amigos:

Buenos dias. Okay,  I am a crybaby, and maybe I have a touch of hypochondria to boot. I turns out my blood numbers were actually great and it appears my runny nose was not caused by low platelets, but um, er, ah, a cold.  Technically my platelets are still low, but not as low as they have been. After spending much of the past six months with platelets in the 30K to 60K range, having 84K like I did yesterday is quite a step forward (normal BTW is about 160K to 400K).

All my other numbers, such as hemoglobin, red blood cells, and white blood cells, while still low are climbing back as well. Another couple of weeks and my blood should be okay.

From L: Buzz, Harry, Pearl

Yesterday’s attempt at a new world record by walking the dogs around the block kind of fizzled when I got to the park. These darn legs of mine didn’t feel quite right. So even though I walked further than usual, I didn’t make it around the block. Maybe today. Not only did my legs peter out, but also I ran out of poop bags and that could have been disastrous. You’ve seen Harry. He is not one for leaving small “packages.”

Tomorrow is my first appointment with my oncology doc after being fired as a patient (actually I just finished chemo is all, but it sounds cooler to say I’ve been fired). Anyway, it’s a fact that when people buy something big they go temporarily insane during the buying process. When sanity returns, buyers’ remorse sets in.

I’m feeling kind of like that.

I was so excited to hear that my doc wanted to stop treatments that I never considered any other options. If there is a 95% cure rate after five years when you complete all eight blocks and I finished six blocks, what if anything did I lose. Is my cure rate down to 85%, 90%, 5 %, do we even know? Could chemo have been continued if we eliminated some of the more dangerous drugs that might have killed me, or do you need the whole package for any affect?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting I run back to the doc and ask for more poison, but then I again I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot either. I have questions about what is best over the long haul. I suspect we’ll schedule the PET/CT scan tomorrow for some time next week, or even Friday. I pray that comes back clean, if it doesn’t then who the hell knows what happens next. Yikes!

I still have this heart ejection fraction thing hanging fire and get my stress test Thursday morning and we’ll go from there. It is all very stress inducing (that’s a joke actually).

Peace to all

Bill